Science Fiction Worlds...Our Film Fantasies of...

Celebrities, Movie Stars, and Animal Actors of Sci-Fi Movies form:

SPACE DOG's SPOTS!

Join us for a riotous romp down luny lane...

(Get a peek at the Master's Pick of Perfect Pink Punk HAREM OF HOT HEROINES* and Deep Dish Dame Delights!)

FOR A GOOD LOOK AT SOME FAMOUS (or is that infamous?) SCENES THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN--ENJOY OUR HUMOROUS MOVIE REVIEWS.

SPACE DOG's Acting Career???

OUR HUMOROUS MOVIE REVIEWS:

The Top 20+ Sci-Fi Movies (Films and T.V. Spots)

1. SUSAN THOMPSON* Dr. Who (beaming from Britain) As the beautiful (and well mannered) Companion of Dr. Who, this Dame fell for that stupid mechanical K-9. Well, he was cute, sort of, but furry, lovable old me would have done much better. (But then I would have had to appear in my diapers, as I was only a young pup back them.) Yet, let us remember and honor the tradition of DOG Actors, here! And K-9 did score some good ones. (For one thing, he convinced viewers that not all DOGS were dumb air-heads! Blondes not-with-standing!)

2. THAT DARN CAT??? Cat From Outer Space Yep, that crazy Cat appeared in Disney's CAT FROM OUTER SPACE and what a waste! She should have stayed on THAT DARN CAT! (Where her fans liked her.) Hey, THE DOG FROM OUTER SPACE would have done just as well. (And why not me in it?) Hey, I hate to complain, but sometimes you wonder if those guys down in Hollywood have any brains in their head or not. (Or have they just smoked too much of that suff?) Or, is this just a mutual Cat admiration society down there? (Discrimination!)

3. YEOMAN RAND* Star Trek (Original T.V. Series) Now this blonde bombshell sent STAR TREK's T.V. ratings to the top. Or, was it just her short skirts? Yeah, she said she was always trying to get the Captain to notice her legs. So, what did she think the rest of us would do? Oh, yes, and what memories! For looking up her skirt was easy, especially back in the days of mini-skirts! Say, why did Star Trek ever abandon such good, entertaining costuming? And, while I am at it, why didn't they have a pet DOG on board, as their mascot? I could have sounded some of the warnings that they needed (Danger Captian Kirk!), not to mention putting the bite on some of their villains! So, how about it guys, are you ready for a DOG episode?

4. JANE FONDA* (as herself?) Barbarella Well, this is a wild and exotic double-naught spy spoof movie that our parents wouldn't let us see back then, but which looks pretty tame, by today's standards! And Plain Jane more than proves that she is not so plain! Yep, the lively red-head, or blonde, or what color is her hair this week (only her hair dresser knows for sure), did a marvelous, entertaining (and revealing) job here. So, why didn't she do more Sci-Fi? Yet, is the real name of the movie suppose to be Barbie In Space? (And that doll scene was really wild!!!) What she needed was a good, faithful D-O-G to look out for her! (However, we have to applaud the fact, that while a lot of people may dump on her, Jane is now wearing the cross and trying to walk as she talks.)

5. LINDSEY WAGNER Bionic Woman (6 Million Dollar Man) Now this shapely blonde appeared in the BIONIC WOMAN T.V. series, though it always seemed to run a second to the 6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN. However, you have to give them credit where credit is due, for Lindsey talked them into putting on a Bionic Dog on her show, too! (Way to go girl!) Besides, with a last name like that, DOGS have got to trust her!!! (Grooooaaaannnnn!) Well, Lassie, lead me where you want me!

6. LINDA CARTER** Wonder Woman This beautiful beyond belief brunette captured everyone's attention in WONDER WOMAN. (Hey, she sure got my attention, too!) Yep, she was even voted The Most Beautiful Woman in the World! So, why didn't she have furry, lovable, and adorable me as her pet at home, while she was off saving the world? (And, for all of our fans out there, the mystery still holds: was that really her underwear that she was running around in, or did she wear something else underneath?) Hey, this is a sexy-terrier (secretary) that can sit im my lap, any day! (And the Cross is in her walk, too!)

7. WILMA DEARING* Buck Rogers This sidekick to the man who rose from the grave (BUCK ROGERS, both the Movie and T.V. Series) should have captured our attention. But, the Dame settled for a dirty-mouthed midget android, so she must not have had good taste. Hey, I could have gotten them better ratings with my own tail waggings! (But, then, I am not sure I'd go for that stunt of being frozen of 500 years. Where do you find a tree or fire hydrant in all that ice?)

8. FARAH FAWCETT* Saturn 5 Now this beautiful blonde bombshell was some serious media merchandise in SATURN 5 (not to mention appearing on the original Charlie's Angels). And she provided some very nice scenery (with all that lovely hair and winning smile) to watch in the Movie. But, why didn't she have me, as her cute and adorable guard dog, to watch out for her? Hey, it would have been a good conflict line--loyal dog against mad robot! But, then, perhaps her husband, like some men, was jealous of her having a dog, and would not let me appear in the Movie? (Give the dope a Cat and see how he likes that, instead!)

9. LOIS LANE Superman (I, II, II) Well, the handsome hulk, Christopher Reeves, sure captured the female audience, but the plain Jane of Margot Kidder as Lois didn't balance the act. Not that Lois was a bad broad, it is just that as the general rule goes: WHAT GOOD IS A SHOWGIRL, IF YOU DON'T SEE MUCH OF HER? And aside from that x-ray vision scene, where we found out she was wearing pink panties, which was a cute gag, we didn't see her in longerie or a bikini, any where, leaving this show a bit dull. And, her acutally doing it with Superman, hey, that was out of character. (If you wanted a romantic tryst like that, it would have been better off being saved to the last sequel--or when Superman went nuts.) Now, in the comics, there was Supergirl and Superboy--as well as Superdog, so where was he in the movies? (And our sincere sympathies with Chris for a speedy recovery!)

10. DALE ARDEN* (Melody Anderson) Flash Gordon Now this attractive mouse had good potential as the companion in FLASH GORDON. And that dance she did was really wild! (But why wasn't it something more of a strip-tease? And, despite all the exotic costuming and topsy-turvy action, we never got to see much of anything of what Dale really had? Hey, what good are showgirls, it they don't show anything?) Moreover, they had all those hawkmen flying around with wings, so why couldn't they have had a furry, lovable old me in the Movie, too? But, then I don't like getting wet. And those things in the swaps don't appeal to me--not to mention that weird critter in the tree stump! Yet, perhaps I could have put the bite on Ming the Merciless for them? (But, then he wouldn't have gotten away, huh? Can't foil the sequels! Say, why weren't there any to this?)

11. ??? Battle Star Galatica Yes, that is right, and that was the problem with Battle Star Galatica, for there were no female roles that came to the fore for you to like. (Either they were hookers or spoiled daddy's daughters!) Come on guys, are you all gay or something? And, that crazy mechanical monkey! What nut case ever came up with that? Hey, a good old fashioned Lassie sort, like me, would have turned that whole T.V. Series around. And, all that Egyptian stuff really seemed whacked and out of place in Space, too. (Now, Mesopotamian things fit!) And dare we add that those crazy Egyptians worshipped cats! (Yuck!!!) Now, there was some very good potential here for some GREAT Sci-Fi, but the episodes seriously drifted into weird and wild things that simply lost the audiences! After all, Science Fiction should have SCIENCE in it somewhere. (Else it is just a flight of fantasy--and fairytale.)

12. PRINCESS LEIA* Star Wars (I, II, III or is that 4, 5, 6)) Now, STAR WARS burst on the scene from a sleeper to a block buster Movie! (And with such a good original plot, why were people surprised at is success?) Yet, while Princess Leia was certainly cute, she was not very cuddly (and had a serious attitude on), and despite her brief stint in that haremgirl's outfit (in a later, follow-up movie), we really didn't get to see much of her--not even in the sequels! (Hey, like I said, what good is a showgirl, if they don't show you anthing?) And come on guys! What is with all this hokie magic stuff? You should have just left it with the mysterious FORCE, without the detracting details! (And given us some some serious babes to view, instead!) What a waste of our eye-balls, watching parlor tricks! (SPACE BALLS did better! And the Swartz more believable!) And what a tortured plot, you have now woven, to continue the adventure! (You might have been better off stoping with the first movie. Rather than twisting things into a Soap Opera Nightmare!) Yet, believe it or not, I was actually in the movie! Yes, I was inside the Woukie suit! (Just joking! How would I lift my leg in that thing?)

13. V-GER Star Trek - The Movie??? Pardon me while I puke! What a bomb of a movie. (And not at all reflective of the normal quality of Star Trek Productions!) The copy of the ealier NOMAD Program was not a bad idea (it might have worked), but it was sure executed poorly! And the bald-headed V-GER was a total wash out as a female attraction! (Whose crazy idea was that?) And what happend to the old, traditional Star Trek costuming? Yuck! Even a Cat could have told you how to make this a better movie than it was! (Hey, you guys most have been out on an Over Dose when you tried to do that one!) How about a remake--and do it right this time?

14. Saavik (KRISTIE ALLEY*) Star Trek - Wrath of Khan Trilogy Despite her barmaid role in Cheers, Kristie made a wonderful Saavik in THE WRATH OF KHAN. But, then, there was the follow-up dribble about the SEARCH FOR SPOOK (on a SEARCH FOR SPOCK'S BRAIN take-off) that caused the sequel to falter--as well as the lack of Kristie (which would have helped it immensely.) THE VOYAGE HOME brought some recovery, but I am not sure everyone likes whale watching. And the following UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY, with its diabolical political plot, was excellent. So, why wasn't a dog used in any of these movies, to bring them more aesthetic value? (Beside, perhaps Kristie would have been around, if I was there to charm her, with my tail waggings? And yes, she did set my tail to thumping! And, whatever happened to Diane?)

15. BEVERLY CRUSHER* Star Trek - New Generation As the tall and stately red-headed doctor in Star Trek's NEW GENERATION, Dr. Crusher provided some much needed female scenery. (What ever happened to Yeoman Rand?) And Counslor Troi? She must have seen to many nut cases--and lost her own believablity! (Consequently, this Star Trek Series suffers almost as badly as Battle Star Galatica with regards to a female attraction.) What happend to the writers of The Original Series? (Too many parties in LA?) But, then the new costumes here were almost believable (not like Star Trek - The Movie)--but what happened to the short skirts? And was Data to be the pet and mascot? I would have done much better! Mow, with all that fiddle about Q, why couldn't they have also had an encounter with SPACE DOG? (Better than V-Ger!) And, personally, I liked the old Klingon image better! (They should have called the new dudes something else.)

16. 7-of-9 *** JERI RYAN *** Star Trek - Voyager While off to a faltering start, at last, Star Trek earns some more gold stars, and that is for its golden-haired amazon that they re-captured from the Borg, and turned into the beautiful and lovable 7-of-9 in the YOYAGER T.V. Series. Now, here is a beautiful babe! (And this is a famous female feline whose tail I could chase up a tree, any day!) But, Janeway was a bit much to take! (I have a decided dislike for battle-axe butch biddies, as they tend to abuse D-O-G-S, and she pushed that line many a time. If I would have been on that ship, I would have tranferred out--and taken SEVEN with me!) Frankly, Kristie Alley would have made a good second in command, as Saavik, against Chekote's lead.) Moreover, while the last show leaves one to believe that it was Janeway that destroyed the Borg, the actual facts are that she only killed the Queen with those nano-probes--it was ME that brought down the Borge Empire and totally Conquered them (like Cortez or Pizaro)! What, you doubt that? Well, let me lift my leg on your electronics and we'll just see how well your empire functions after that. (Yeah, Nature's little secret weapon!)

17. QUEEN AMIDALA* Star Wars - Phantom Menace Now, finally, STAR WARS, in its PHANTOM MENACE found some serious female appeal in Queen Amidala (or more popularly known as I-Am-A-Doll!), though she was a bit tricky with Padme Parma routine (or more popularly known as Pat-My-Pretty-Pants). But, seriously, who is going to trust the dame, diplomatically, after that masquerade and the old switch-a-roo she pulled? (Are we trying to say that people who lie will always succeed?) Not to mention, how seriously twisted this plot has now become with an older, well-developed teenager hooking up with some kid (that hasn't even hit puberty yet), and now running the whole concept for the film into serious trouble as to how the tangled relationship between Luke and Leia came about. (Hey, guys, come on! If you can't figue out a good plot here, then ask me! Even a dumb dog could tell you have to do it better! Just as the audience told you that Vader as Skywalker's father stunk, so are they going to howl about this one, as well! And, as to all that hokie mythical, magical, supersitous stuff--save it! Lets see more action, and adventure--and more of Pat-My-Pretty-Pants!)

18. DR. JUDY* Lost In Space - The Movie Well, this Movie, LOST IN SPACE, started out good, but somehow they seem to have seriously gotten lost in their own plot. Yet, Dr. Judy provides some much needed female blonde scenery, but that bit of oasis is scarce in this romantic desert wasteland! Now, don't these guys know how to make movies? Hey, they had the original T.V. Program, so how could they go so wrong? And that garbage about the time wrap lost more viewers than when they blasted off from Earth! And what ever happened to the robot and DANGER WILL ROBINSON! (In pieces??? Yuck!!!)

19. CARMEN IBANEZ* (Denise Richards) Star Ship Troopers Now this lovely little Latin mouse has good appeal, and it is easy to see why Johnnie joined up to follow her into federal service in STAR SHIP TROOPERS. However, despite her natural appeal, we hardly saw her (except laying on the ground, waiting to get her brains succked out by the bugs). Now, Diz, well, she is good competition and nearly stole the show, especially with that shower scene! But, then, maybe a pool-side sceen in a bikini would have been more tasteful? (Hey, even though I am a Black Lab, I hate water scenes!!!) And, I know that this is a military flick, but it is overly gory and bloody (with body parts flying all over the place)! Is it too realistic? (Besides, I don't like giant spiders, either!)

20. ??? Supernova Hey, the movie SUPERNOVA had great potential. But, somewhere, it faltered in the process. The technical aspects and special effects were stupendous. But, despite there being a lot of women on board this emergency medical rescue vessel, none of them really emerged as the female attraction. In fact, from many of the shots and angles, you might even get the idea that the crew was all men! Moreover, how can you have a rescue mission, without a lovable K-9 along, like Lassie or Rin Tin Tin? (Hey, I'd be great help in therapy and recovery!)

21. Lizzie (DARYL HANNAH*) My Favorite Martian - Disney Now, this Lizzie in MY FAVORITE MARTIAN is no tin woodswoman, and is enough to turn anyone's head--and throw them into confusion. However, she was just a little too spaced out, and needed me along as her guide dog! Besides, I have Uncle Martin's antenna, too--and I can do anything he can do. (And better!) Yet, despite her potential, and Tim's revealing exposures, we hardly saw anything of her. (Hey, a simple bikini scene would have done the trick!) Yeah, what is a showgirl, if she doesn't show anything?

22. BRENDA BRADFORD* Inspector Gadget Well, as the lovely red-headed Dr. in INSPECTOR GADGET, she provided some welcomed female scenery relief. (Though I think I liked her better as the mad capped Robbo-Brenda?) Yet, we have to applaud BRAIN's appearances (and support the other DOG Actors out there). But, why couldn't there have been more scenes with the D-O-G in them? And the scenes he got were only licking Inspector Gadget's face. So, why couldn't he have put the bite on some of those criminals? Even that crazy cat car got a few! (Hey, I can do anything a cat car can--and more!) Yeah, and what about that darn cat that got its own Sci-Fi Movie? And her relative a spot in this one! (Discrimination!)

CONCLUSIONS: So, how did you like my Humorous Movie Reviews? (Doesn't my Master have good taste in women!) Or, do we need to wag our tail more to get you to laugh?

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