Space Humor and Sci-Fi Laughs...

[Gray Wolf Shield]

Amusing Tales (Tails?) and Humerous Anecdotes:

SPACE DOG JOKES

WELCOME SPACE DOG FANS! Come on it and set your tail to thumping, with some of the wildest stunts in the Galaxy! (Your laughter will never be the same, after you have had your romp with this mad cap pup!)

SPACE DOG: the Modern, Mediavel Minstrel and Jolly Jester from Outer Space! Funnier (and more shocking) than Liz Curtis-Higgs and her BAD GIRLS. And wilder and zanier than Chonda Pierce's 4 EYED BLONDE, this Comedian of the Faith sets his own distinctive mark on your laugh track!

Now join us for a tour of humor around the world! Well, sort of? The Viking World, anyway.

TAILS: Essential Baggage!

How do Space Dogs get their tails, into their spacesuits?

ANSWER: Very carefully!

(Ouch!!! Let me catch your tail in a zipper!!!)

STARS: Behaving Badly!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are...
... (???)

Then again, maybe I don't really want to know!

(Yeah, have you noted any good UFO sightings, recently?)

SHIP RATIONS: What is the food in Space like?

QUESTION: I've heard that the prepared military meals taste horrible!

ANSWER: Well, actually, they aren't half bad--once you throw them up, and eat them for a second time.

(Oh, sick!)

(Yes, why Mr. Scott--YOU OLD SPACE DOG YOU!!! Changing the Food Replicators, again?)

CATS: Crying in Their Milk!

QUESTION: How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

ANSWER: 1,001 (One to climb the chair, and hold the light bulb, and the other thousand to pick up the house and turn it around a few times, to unscrew the bulb!)

(Yeah, those crazy cats never did catch on to that relativity, thing!)

STEALTH MODE: Keeping Space Dog out of sight!

QUESTION: How do you hide SPACE DOG in a strawberry patch?

ANSWER: You don't have to--his alien antenna can keep him invisible for hours (like Uncle Martin's)!

2ND QUESTION: Then how do get SPACE DOG into a cherry tree?

ANSWER AGAIN: You don't have to--for SPACE DOG can fly (like Superman) and perch in any tree, like an owl. (And better than that stupid Cheshire Cat of Alice's!)

3rd QUESTION: Then how do you let SPACE DOG out of his locked kennel? Or pen him up?

ANSWER ONCE MORE: You don't have to--in invisible mode, he can walk through solid walls (again, like Superman).

(Say, you sure don't know much about SPACE DOG! Are you sure that you are one of his fans? Then, you had better get that chant down!)

(Bet you are not up on James bond, either?)

NAME BRANDS: Dog care!

QUESTION: How do you get dogs to eat their food. Ours will only eat certain name brands!

ANSWER: Tell him it is Garfield's lassagne. (And he will eat it no matter what it is, to keep it away from the FAT CAT!)

AIR QUALITY: Space Environmental Suits!

QUESTION: Have you ever farted in your space suit?

ANSWER: Well, (Rocketman, aside) yes--but it doesn't really bother me. The air filters usually clear it up right away.

(But, then I love the smell of barns! Reminds me of home!)

(Say, did you ever try cow pies?)

(Oh, gross, majorly!!!)

COMFORT ZONE: Trick for the Trickster?

SPACE DOG'S BROTHER (half-brother?): How do you make SPACE DOG freeze?

ANSWER: Unplug his electric long-johns!!! (Space is very cold!)

(Yeah, and let me pour snow down your back, the next time they lock you in one of those space suits!)

BROTHER (Oh, brother!) AGAIN: How do you make SPACE DOG wildly happy?

ANSWER: Short circuit his electric long-johns! (Then he'll dance around for joy all over!)

(Hey, you got any siblings that pick on you all the time? Well, his day is coming--and I'll be sure to repay the favor!)

REST STOPS: Finding a gas station in Space?

QUESTION: How do Space Dogs go to the bathroom in space?

ANSWER: Same as anywhere else.

(Just lift you leg and let it fly!)

MILITARY ORDERS: Viking Tongue (Language)???

HOWIE: How does Space Dog give his military orders to his construction corp. (and logging team)?

ANSWER: Just the usual one BARK at a time!!! With his chest in (ears raise)--and his hand at his head (tail straight up in the air)--just like other military personnel!

(Groooaaannn!!! Well, you try coming up with something snappy at 4:00 in the morning!)

FOOD RULES: Viking Table Manners???

MOM: How does Space Dog eat? (Does he mind his manners? Eat his vegetables?)

ANSWER: With the usual 2 or 3 gulps!!!

(Hey, Ma...we're Vikings! Do you really expect us to be civilized at the table???)

SPACE DOG TRIVIA: How much do you know??? (Personal Junk)

QUESTION: How does Space Dog talk or bark in his space suit?

ANSWER: He doesn't need to! (He just broadcasts mental telepathy wise over his antenna--like Uncle Martin.)

QUESTION: Does SPACE DOG like snow?

ANSWER: DOES HE!!! He loves to go sledding, with his ears flapping in the rushing wind! And dancing around in all the white--biting at the snow flakes! As well as building snow forts, and knocking them down with snow ball cannon balls! It is one of his best seasons! (Though the rest of us think it is pretty nasty and miserable.)

QUESTION: How is Space Dog's eyesight? Someone was saying that he could take measurements with his eyes?

[GO - GO GADGET...ER...GIRL!] ANSWER: Space dog does not have normal dog sight, for sure (i.e. black & white). And, like the bionic man, he can zoom in and out to see far away and really close up (microscopic). And, yes, there are radar calipers in his vision, so that he can not only see in the dark, but also through some walls, and can accurately set measurements down to the millimeter from kilometers away! (He was Hatusus' engineering assistant, remember?)

(Yeah, guys, I bet you wish you had his super-powers vision, every time you go on a date!!!)

QUESTION: What kind of a crazy D-O-G is Space Dog? Is he some kind of mutt? Or is he a pure breed?

ANSWER: Space Dog is a very special breed, INDEED! Originally BUILT as AI (artificial intelligence) to be the perfect robotic astronaut (and servant for Hatusus), but through a miracle (something like Pinocchio) he became a real, live dog. Well, of sorts. But with some very special skills, and powers--like most super-heroes.

QUESTION: Is SPACE DOG a modern, with-it pup? Does he use e-mail?

ANSWER: Yeah, he just uses the good, old-fashioned way and zaps it out over his antenna!

ORIGINS: Litter of Pups???

QUESTION: So, how did a HHHOOOUUUNNNDDD...D-O-G get into Space?

ANSWER: His Master basically sent him there to fetch a bone!

(Seriously! Check out the SPACE DOG Movie!)

BLONDE AND BLUE BABE

GOLDEN GAL GROUPIE: Does Space Dog KISS like normal dogs? (Can a wet tongue really feel that good?)

ANSWER: Hey, baby, let me plant a real good one on ya', and then you will know, without doubt!

(Certainly better than the Three Musketeers, I'll wager! Sorry, Disney.)

SPACE DOG MUSIC: Wolf Howls???

D.J.: What is this Rockin' New Sound that the SPACE DOG BAND has?

ANSWER: As the new ROYAL ROLLIN' ROCK RIOT RAGE, we are calling our sound the PERFECT PINK AND PURPLE PUNK!

D.J.: Now what is that?

CONSULT the SPACE DOG MUSIC Page!

MILITARY RULES: Viking Protocols???

VERITABLE VICTORY VIKING: How does Space Dog salute?

ANSWER: With his chest in (ears raise)--and his hand at his head (tail straight up in the air)--just like other military personnel!

(Just like his tail wags, whenever he smiles or laughs!!! And, which he does a lot, from all of the pranks and practical jokes he plays.)

SPACE DOG Romance?

GORGEOUS GAL GROUPIES: Does Space Dog have any girl-dog-friends? (A wife?)

ANSWER: Yes, dozens! (Groupies galore!)

However, it is usually held that his A No. 1 Flash is a beautiful buxom babe whose Web Handle is Precious Penelope Poodles and who is one of those sensual sexy starlettes, that barks out Country and Western tunes to make the other pups eat out of her hand! Check her paw print out in SPACE DOG FAN MAIL.

(However, the Cosmic K-9 Crew hotly denies the persistent rumor that this is one of the Mandrell Sisters!)

(Hey! Why was this submitted to Jokes? Well, doesn't every Dog deserve his Dame???))

SILLY SPACE SUPPORTERS...

Have an amusing Space Joke? Or a good Dog Tale (tail)? (Some Anti-Cat jokes accept, too.)

Then, send it in to SPACE DOG! Perhaps we will print it, if it is really good?

Just use the flaming arrow button (above) to e-mail us or zap to Space.Dog.ZDKF@gorge.net. (Be sure that you lable the Subject Box: SPACE DOG JOKES, or it won't go to me--and some of the serious science dudes around here are not going to be too happy!)

Or, snail mail them to:

SPACE DOG JOKES
c/o ZDK Shaddox Conflux
P.O. Box 44
Underwood, WA 98651

Faster than a speeding bullet...stronger than a racing locomotive...

Our Fearless Leader and Wonder of Stage and Screen:

SPACE DOG!

Greetings Fans! And I hope you enjoy our little laugh alley... Now, let me take you on a humorous romp dowm memory lane, as I show you some of the accomplishments of me and my relatives. (Well, very distant relatives!)

So, hold on to your hat...as we rocket into SPACE!

Up...Up...And away! (Superman, remember?)

To get SPACE DOG PHOTO GALLERY Click Here!

A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR...

Yep, commercial time. Hey, these kind folks have helped beam me your way. So, how about taking a look at them, and seeing what they have to offer. (Hey, fair is fair!)

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[I-Fleet Shield] 2. KoReY PROJECT SPACE ARK -- KoReY or K.R.Y. Program for the preservation of Earth Life (flora and fauna) and then transportion of them to suitable environments on other Planets in Space (the new Noah's Ark): the colossal environmental project of the Future (NOW!)

[KoReY Interstellar Colonies Shield] 3. KoReY INTERSTELLAR COLONIES -- Our Project for the Coming Migration of the Faithful into Space (formal evacuation of the Planet Earth in preparation for the coming Apocalypse--where do you fit in or will you be left out?): including practical guidelines on Passenger Priority and Land Grant Allocations

NAVIGATION BAR (Interstellar Portals):

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RATING: PG
Bathroom humor!

Filed: 10-31-01 . . . Up-dated: 12-05-01